More Than Just “Nice”: What True Congeniality Looks Like in a Higher Ed Department

Helping and listening to a colleague brings joy. Image from Unsplash.

In higher education, we often talk about congeniality in terms of professional courtesy—maintaining positive attitudes, collaborating effectively, sharing workloads, and being sociable. These are all good and necessary things. But over the years, I’ve come to realize that true congeniality—the kind that builds strong departments and carries us through hard semesters—isn’t just about being agreeable. It’s about being genuinely kind.

It’s about creating a space where people feel supported, seen, and valued—not just as professionals, but as human beings.

I’ve worked with people who brought this kind of warmth to our department. They were the ones who checked in when someone was having a rough day, who offered a listening ear instead of quick fixes. They were the ones who celebrated others’ successes without needing to center themselves, who stayed late to help a colleague prepare a presentation, or brought an extra soda just because they remembered your schedule was packed.

This isn’t the surface-level “positivity” that shows up in mission statements—it’s deeper. It’s the kind of positivity rooted in care. In real relationships. In love, even.

A truly congenial department doesn’t feel like an office—it feels like a chosen family. It’s a place where:

• You help your colleagues succeed because their success feels like your success.

• You care about your coworkers’ happiness—not just their productivity.

• You offer a shoulder or a smile, depending on what someone needs that day.

• You contribute not out of obligation, but out of mutual respect and shared investment in each other’s well-being.

That kind of environment doesn’t just make work more enjoyable. It makes us better teachers, better mentors, and better humans.

If we want departments that thrive, let’s stop thinking of congeniality as a checkbox—and start treating it as a daily practice of compassion and connection.